ADOPTION #2

FEB 2017

Why NOT now? ;)

Honestly, waiting and watching the Lord orchestrate the timing of each of our four journeys to each of our children is simultaneously my favorite and least favorite part of the process. When I look back at the three kids we have now, each of their stories are so beautiful and perfect; that is why it is my favorite. However, I tend to be a control freak about timing and age gaps, and when I'm ready to roll, I'm ready to roll. So, having patience, waiting, and trusting God's timing are THE WORST!  

This process has been no different. Call it a biological clock, OCD, or just plain crazy, but whenever my youngest child turns one year old, I get baby fever. So, naturally, when Esme turned one, I started asking Travis when we would adopt again. At that point in time, we were both pretty {or really} overwhelmed and still adjusting to the crazy life of having three kids. Needless to say, Travis looked at me like I was crazy {which I probably was} and told me we weren't even going to talk about it yet. After the mental, emotional, physical and financial toll of our first adoption, Travis knew he {we} needed more time to recover.

Because I am neurotic and time was ticking, I didn't receive his response with the most joy and understanding. In fact, for several months, I really struggled. I felt like we were on totally different pages, and I doubted if we would ever get to the same place. I was encouraged by my friends to remember God's faithfulness in our first adoption and how He made the timing of when we should move forward SO clear to us in that season. It took a little while, but eventually {and supernaturally} I was able to lay our second adoption down and stop fretting about it. 

For about seven months I was able to completely enjoy and be content with our family of five. It was a really sweet season of just being us and learning and growing. Adoption had really taken a backseat in my mind and that was healthy for all of us. I would say I almost got to a place of contentment and seeing "the light at the end of the tunnel" as Esme got more independent that I could've seen us settling into being just the five of us and calling it good. 

But as many of you know, just when you think you are getting "comfortable" God throws you a curve ball. :) Our first Sunday of the new year back at home after an extended holiday trip to Wisconsin was January 15th. That day our pastor spoke about the sanctity of life and a woman from Claris Health, an organization that provides support for women with unintended pregnancies, shared with us about the work they are accomplishing in the Los Angeles area. Hearing what they both had to say about the adoption crisis and being reminded of all of the children that need homes brought to the surface once again all of the passion and conviction Travis and I have always had for adoption. 

After a couple of weeks of that message stewing in our hearts, Travis turned to me one day and said "Well, if we're going to adopt again, now is probably as good of a time as ever." It was such a simple statement, so matter of fact and caught me by complete surprise especially considering the previous conversations we had had about a second adoption. I actually laugh now knowing how painfully hard the conversations were and that in the end it came about so effortlessly.

After talking about it more, we were both convicted that, while we may be content with three children, and while we may be just starting to feel like we are getting the hang of things with three, contentment is not what we are called to. We are called to push beyond our comfort zone. We are called to give of ourselves. We are called to love. And we have room to do so. We have room in our car and in our house {these may seem like insignificant details, but when we adopted Esme, getting these two things were huge hurdles for us}. We have room in our family. And most importantly, we have room in our hearts. And THAT is all you need.

So once again, we decided to start taking steps forward. I started looking into the different routes we could take if we chose not to go the same way we did with Esme's adoption. I contacted our home study agency to get the paperwork because we knew that no matter which way we went we needed to have that piece completed first. We updated our families that we were beginning the journey again. 

Just THREE days after we received our home study paperwork, I was contacted out of the blue by a fellow adoptive family. This woman told me our family had been on her heart and asked if we were thinking of adopting again. UM WHAT!? How did she know? We had told no one except our families and they knew we were not sharing the news publicly yet, so there was absolutely no way she could've heard through the grapevine. So how did she know to email me THIS week with THIS question? 

If you've ever felt called to something, you know what it's like to look for the Lord to confirm you are moving in the right direction. This woman's email to me was just that. So, I wrote her back, and told her that we had just started our paperwork, and thanked her for being a gift of confirmation from the Lord. She then responded with more encouragement for our journey and said that she would be sending us a financial gift to help with our process. WHAT!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? More confirmation.

Even now I get goosebumps thinking about that story. God is so good. He placed our names on someones heart thousands and thousands of miles away just THREE days after we started our home study. He is so faithful to provide all that we need whether that be confirmation, prayers and encouragement or financial provision. If we seek Him, He will make His direction clear. We are so excited to see the ways He continues to affirm us throughout this journey.

ESME'S ADOPTION

FEB 2014

After we had Raena, the Lord began to stir our hearts for adoption once again. We began seeking God’s will for us in which direction we should pursue for the addition of our third child, biological pregnancy or adoption. We went back and forth several times between each option.

There are so many unknowns with adoption. It is a path we have not traveled before. We have so many questions! We asked ourselves things like, Are we ready to walk the mental and emotional journey? Are we ready/able to make the financial commitment? How do we do it? Where do we start? Which way is the best way? Should we pursue international or domestic adoption? And a million more...

Whereas, if we chose to pursue another biological child, we would {pretty much} know exactly what we re getting into. A lot of times, having another biological child seemed like the "safer" and more financially feasible {the cost of adoption is a very big commitment} route. However, God was moving in our hearts and we just could not shake the feeling that we needed to {at least} look into pursuing adoption.

So, in the Fall {2013} we began looking into the process of domestic adoption. We visited a local adoption agency to get some more information and did lots of internet research. THERE IS SO MUCH INFORMATION OUT THERE! It’s overwhelming. But then we kind of put it all on the back burner. The holidays came and life was crazy {not to mention we knew we were no where close to where we needed to be financially to even start the process}. So, we just continued to live life and coast along.

After the holidays passed, the Lord started poking at our hearts again. This stirring and longing was just something we couldn’t deny. It was an assurance in my heart that I have a hard time putting into words. My heart ached to begin the journey. There was a passion and drive ignited in me that you get when you know you have a destiny or call and all you want to do is pursue it with everything you have. It was at that time I would say we knew “officially” that we were to pursue adoption for the addition of our third child.

In February, I had been feeling the Lord convicting me that we needed to be more intentional about taking steps forward in the process. Up until this point, outside of our one agency visit in the fall, all we had done was a heap of internet research. I had no real idea what that meant, but I just knew it needed to be more than aimlessly browsing the internet for information. We could do that forever and not get anywhere.

So, on our Valentine's date, I had a very real {and romantic} conversation with Travis about how I was feeling. We both agreed that, even though we knew we were nowhere near being able to do anything in the process because the finances were not there, we still felt we needed to start doing something.

So, I started reaching out to people we know who have adopted domestically trying to gain wisdom and insight from their experiences. Travis started pursuing free lance work in addition to his full time job so we could save some extra money. Even with these efforts, we thought it would be a long time before we would be able to start the process.

Long story short, from the moment we said "Yes, Lord, we will be more intentional about taking steps forward." God did some CRAZY things to confirm our decision and direction. Within a matter of 2 weeks, not only was Travis approached {he didn't even have to go looking} about some freelance work, he was also approached about a new job! Both of these things allowed us to begin the process immediately. We believe they were God telling us we should move forward, and that He will provide ALL that we need along. It was a miracle and blessing we could not deny.

So here we are, moving forward, and trusting God will continue you to provide as we continue to seek Him and be obedient to when and where He calls us.