Learning to wait
Melissa Fischer
The past six days have been a roller coaster of emotions for me. On Friday, I received an email from our adoption consultant. In the email she stated that she knew it was probably a long shot, but that there was an expectant mom carrying a baby boy due on July 6th that was not yet matched. Yes, due July 6th, as in 9 days from the moment I read that email. She asked if we would be interested in presenting our family profile and told me to call her if we wanted to move forward.
To say that my heart skipped a beat would be an understatement. My heart started racing. Oh my goodness, a baby that needs a home and a mama and a daddy! We have a home! We could be that mama and daddy! I immediately forwarded the email to Travis {who was already at work} and sent him a text message telling him to check his email as soon as he had a minute. All the while, my heart and mind continued to race. Could this be it? Could this be our baby? Is it really time?
I tried to pull myself together and continue on in our morning. I was heading out the door with the kids for a park playdate with some friends when I saw the email. {How do you act casual on a park date when you have this going on?}
Up until I received that email, Travis and I were pretty clear on where we currently sit in our adoption process. We have our home study complete and our family profile is made. We could technically start presenting our profile at any point in hopes to be matched with an expecting mom. However, we are not financially ready. While we have been doing what we can to earn and save extra funds to complete our adoption, the simple truth is it is a lot of money that we just don’t have right now.
In addition to the cost of the adoption, there are several other expenses required to accommodate going from two children to three. The biggest, most immediate thing we need to do is purchase a bigger vehicle. The cars we have now cannot fit three car seats in the back. So, we have been researching larger vehicles in order to make a wise investment into our family’s future and have room for all three of our littles. We are saving money for that as well.
Bottom line, we do not yet have a vehicle to accommodate three littles, and we do not yet have the funds we need to complete our adoption. But that didn’t stop my mind and heart from trying to come up with any possible way we might make it work to pursue this baby boy and his mama. After Travis FINALLY got back to me {he was in a meeting} which was really probably only a matter of minutes but felt like hours, we talked and knew that we just couldn’t move forward with this situation. While I had a brief period of disappointment that this little boy was not the third child God intended for our family, I found it pretty easy to rest in knowing that God had someone else in mind to be this little boy’s mama and that He also has someone else in mind for me to be mama to. I spent the weekend praying for this baby boy, his birth mama and the couple that were destined to become his parents.
Early this week, we heard about an adoptive couple that was off to meet their baby. We wondered if it might be this baby boy. We later found out that it was. Just FOUR days after we had learned about him, he entered the world! It is both mind-boggling and overwhelming for me to think about the fact that it could’ve been us going to get him this week. Of course, in reality I know that it could not have been us because God had different plans for this little boy and his forever home and God has different plans for our family. But just the same, it’s impossible not to think about the fact that we technically and legally could’ve been the ones getting on the plane to go pick up that little man.
Wow.
It is both exciting and terrifying. It is a sobering reality check that we have NO idea what the timing or the situation of our baby will be. It could go as fast as a phone call saying, “Hey, there’s a baby due tomorrow that needs a home” or it could take several months. We have no idea, but either way we must be ready.
It has ignited a passion in us to do whatever we can to continue saving the finances. We have started applying for grants and adoption loans. We don’t know when we will have all the funds we need to move forward, but we know that it breaks our hearts that their are children that need families NOW, and we could be that family. We are trusting that God has a plan and perfect time for when all of the financial pieces will fall together, and is working them together on our behalf.
I rest in knowing that HE has the perfect baby Trixie or baby Theo for our family {that’s what we refer to our future child as when talking to Kingston + Raena about a baby brother or sister}. I trust that HE will bring the finances together in time for us to bring the baby He intends for our family home. I smile thinking of the baby boy and his adoptive mama and daddy that were united together as a family this week. I ache with excitement for that to be us, to know who our baby is and what our story is. I pray that God will be glorified through each step of our journey and that it will be evident to all that ONLY HE could’ve orchestrated our adoption story and brought it to completion.
And while I wait for our little one, I wonder if every potential adoption situation we receive will hold a place in my heart the way this first “could have been” story does. I am so encouraged by the stories of the other adoptive parents around us meeting their children for the first time and bringing them home. In each story I see, it is so abundantly clear that God had a purpose and intended those specific lives to be connected together forever. I know He has the same purpose and intent for us. Knowing that makes the “could have been” ok. It makes it more than ok. It makes it joyful because then I get to look at the stories like that of this baby boy and know that he is with the exact mama and daddy he should be. What a beautiful sweet gift.
If you want to have a glimpse into the miraculous joy of adoption, the story of this little boy and his mama and daddy was shared today by the couple’s CAC consultant. You can see baby boy’s cute little face here and praise God with me that he has his forever home with that {beaming} mama and daddy. You know Kingston is excited for them!