It's complicated with: Mondays

Monday mornings... I'm not really sure how I feel about them anymore. My entire childhood I hated them, for obvious reasons. Mondays meant the end of a fun weekend presumably spent with friends, relaxing, shopping, going to movie, staying up late and sleeping in. Mondays were early mornings, scrambling to finish homework I had undoubtedly procrastinated on, and basically the slap in the face that life isn't all fun and games.

Who really likes Mondays?

Even into my adult life, college and all of the jobs I had perpetuated this dreaded feeling of back to reality no fun Mondays.

Then all my dreams came true. I became a stay at home wife/mom. I would never have to go to work on a Monday morning again! {kidding}. Really though, my entire life I had dreamed of being a stay at home mom. I have always loved kids. Almost every job I have ever had has in some way involved child care. My minor in college was child and youth care. I love kids. That is why my heart cry has always been to stay home and raise some of my own. Truly, I am so blessed that The Lord {and my husband} have allowed me to do so. But, I digress.

All of that to say, now I don't really know how I feel about Mondays. In some ways I still hate them. They mean that my sweet husband will return to work; leaving me to change all the diapers, wipe all of the noses, breakup all the fights, and kiss all of the ouies myself. Mondays mean I no longer have an adult companion to have rational and real conversations with. Mondays mean I am once again outnumbered by the two tiny {and demanding} humans I gave birth to.

But those of you who stay home with your kids will understand that for the most part Mondays don't really exist. Everyday is pretty much the same. There is no day to sleep in; there is no day to wake up without those little {or not so little} voices calling {or screaming} out to you for breakfast or a diaper change; there is no day to get dressed and walk out your door and go to work because everyday you wake up at your work and you go to bed at you work. This is what makes Mondays feel like not such a big deal.

And yet, in some ways I have come to love Mondays. Mondays these days seem to bring me relief. After crazy packed weekends, Mondays bring routine and a chance to gain control {kind of} again. Time to wash the dishes, take out the trash, and just pick up the pieces and take a deep breath.

That's how I was feeling this Monday morning. Loving the chance to catch my breath after a weekend filled with projects and plans.

As I sat in the living room with my two littles, unfinished projects looming all around me, threatening to crash down on top of me if I didn't get going. God gently reminded me "take a deep breath, and just enjoy being here. Play with those precious babes right now; the projects can wait."

So I did. I spent the morning being silly with my kids. We snuggled and looked at books and did our own version of 'homeschool' with my almost three year old big boy. I was in awe of how smart he is and honestly baffled by some of the things he knew. It made me feel proud and like a complete failure as a mom all at the same time. I felt guilt that I don't do more to develop his brain in ways that would allow him to be the complete genius he most definitely would be if I was doing it all "right". But I also felt there was no need to dwell on that because he seems to be doing alright and I'm trying. Of course there is always room for improvement, and I hope I always strive for my best in mothering {and everything else for that matter}, but there's also a lot of grace. Choosing to except that grace is key to living in joy and freedom.

And of course no fun morning could be complete without group selfies and a no pants {for them} party!

It was a beautiful reminder from my Lord of how blessed I am, how sweet it is to be in His presence, and how Mondays really aren't so bad... Until my 2 year old started throwing a fit because he couldn't watch "a show" but that's another story; one I am too exhausted from living through to tell again right now.